The “Practice of Homosexuality.”

Not surprisingly, the fantastic news of SCOTUS not hearing the appeals to overturn the lower courts’ decisions ruling against bans to gay marriage soon led to the normal conservative outrage. Thankfully, since I no longer listen to certain media, I have not seen too much of this, but it’s still out there. For example this post which claims there is no such thing as gay marriage because you can’t get pregnant–at least he is consistent in that he also calls out marriages with one man and one woman who choose not to have babies, not that he’s right, but he’s consistently wrong (wrong is not the word I want to use here, but I’m trying to be nice!).

And honestly neither he, nor I suspect, the other attacks against marriage equality and couples who happen to identify as the same gender are going to bring anything new to the table. There has been no recent discovery that proves their indefensible point, no study, no anything that adds any new weight to their side. Perhaps that’s why Michelle Bachman called the issue “boring” and Bryan Fischer laments that conservatives are giving up (link). It must get awfully boring to argue the same losing and hole riddled perspective over and over again in a shrinking echo chamber.

But what got me was a letter from the Virginia state leader of a main line denomination seen here. I will admit, to some degree, this just reaffirmed my Baptistness and issues with hierarchy. And yeah, I get it, if you do have a hierarchy and a polity then you are answerable to them even when you perform acts of righteousness. He also calls for a not far off discussion, and despite the fact that it is not my denomination, I can only pray and hope that doing justice, loving mercy, and walking humbly will lead them to the side of justice and recognizing the full humanity of all people.

The problem, though, was the Christian-ese which is nothing more than an updated form of “hate the sin; love the sinner.”

We, The United Methodist Church, welcome every person regardless of sexual orientation, but we do not condone the practice of homosexuality.

Imagine this for a moment with me.

You go to church and are told you are welcomed and loved, but we don’t recognize the legitimacy of your family–whether that’s just the two of you as a couple or more than two with children. How welcomed do you feel? How comfortable do you feel allowing your child to go to whatever children’s program there is knowing that your child’s family is seen as not really a family. “Regardless of sexual orientation” starts to feel a lot like “despite sexual orientation.”

But more than that is the whole “the practice of homosexuality.” What does that even mean? Or do we know exactly what that means. Does it really mean that it still comes down to sex? That for individuals who are in a relationship with someone of the same gender identity as themselves all that matters is how whatever bits we have interact? Romance, commitment, love, life together, none of that matters because we do sex “wrong”? Is that how they view marriages between two people one of whom is a woman and one a man?

I don’t practice homosexuality. Being a lesbian is part of who I am, and trust me, I tried not to be and failed spectacularly! But it’s about more than the healthy sexual relationship that I hope I one day have, when I meet someone. And when I do, it’ll be about a lot more than sex.

And you know what, if we, this woman I have not yet met and I, decide to have children, we can. We can even do it with one of us getting pregnant. Maybe not the same way as if one of us were a man, but it can still happen.

And if it’s about ick factor and only about sex, I gotta be honest, I don’t really like the practice of heterosexuality, but you know it’s not, or at least it really shouldn’t be.